Deviation Actions
Literature Text
I woke up with a yawn this morning. Which... is like every other boring morning, pretty much. One thing kept running in my mind, ‘School, school, school... so boring, but must attend’. Of course, I hated school. What can you expect from a guy like me? I mean, you know, heaps of typical year 8 boys hate their first grade at high school. It can be so terrible.
I don’t know what will happen today – well, either way, I don’t care. I’m looking at the luminous clock that is just casually sitting on my white bedside table. Hmm, it’s 10:30. I still have minus 1 hour and 20 minutes. WAIT A MINUTE!!! I over slept! Shoot! I must get ready, or my mum will kill me!!! Wait, why didn’t she wake me up? That’s unusual... Hey, there’s a note on my door! It says...
‘Dear John, I’ve gone to work early. I expect you to be up and at school by starting time. If I get a phone call, YOU’RE DEAD!!! Later honey, love mummy. Xxxx’
Oh, god. I hate mum’s writing. It’s a royal pain in the... Ring! Ring! Uh oh, my phone’s mysteriously ringing. I wonder who that could be.
“Hello, John speaking?”
“John! It’s Pete. Why aren’t you at school?”
“Oh, I slept in. My mum went to work early for some weird reason.”
“Yeah, well you better get here fast, Miss Cardy is pretty angry!”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there soon.”
“Okay, well... yes, Miss Cardy? I’m not talking to anyone. No, it’s my mum! No, please!”
“Hello, Peter’s mother. He’s still in class. Call later. By the way, how are you?”
Oh, what am I ment to say? I am not good at impersonating females! And it would be very rude to copy Pete’s mother.
“Hello? Hello? Peter, are you sure this is your mother? No?! Then, WHO IS IT!?!?! Oh, Mr Hetty? We’ll see about that! Now, Mr Hetty, why aren’t you at school?”
“Miss Cardy, I... I over slept!”
“Tell me the truth, Mr Hetty! Or I’ll give you a detention!!!”
“My mum left to work early!”
“Tell me the rest, Jonathan!”
Geez, does this crazy lady have to know everything?! “She wakes me up every morning.”
“Mr Hetty, oh my word... Do you mean to tell me, that you still rely on your mother to wake you up every morning because you don’t have enough responsibility to wake up?!?!”
I could hear the giggles of all the students. But obviously she gave them a weird stare because they just shut up instantly.“...yes, Miss Cardy.” I couldn’t stand it no more, but I couldn’t hang up. Or she’d give me detention, or keep ringing... or worse. She’d ring my mother! AHHHH!!!
“Well, Jonathan, you must come immediately here, and to do so, you must walk fast, or catch a bus. Or something else. I’m sure you’ll think of something.”
“So... you won’t call my mother?”
“Oh, oh alright, I suppose I won’t. Just get here quickly, or that phone call will happen.”
“Yes Miss Cardy... Thank you, Miss Cardy.”
“Just hurry up, Mister. You’re already in deep trouble as it is!”
“Okay, see you later, Miss Cardy.”
“Just, go.”
So, I hung up on her. I think she was meant to first... maybe she did (cause then that would explain the beeping noises...).
Anyway, I better get ready. I think I’ll just take a note book today. But then Miss Cardy would get up me. So, what do I have today? Well, there’s... um, it’s 10:35... it’s lunch time. So... I just have art, computer education, and... great, maths. I always muck up too much in maths. What do you expect? I’m a boy, for crying out loud!
I suppose my fastest way would be to ride my bike to school. I mean, I don’t want to catch a bus with complete strangers. That wouldn’t be fun.
Hang on, if it’s lunch time, then how come Miss Cardy took Pete’s phone...? Maybe she kept them in again. She always does that. Cranky little...
Well, best get ready if I want to stay out of trouble. Time to read my list of what to take... what does the note I made say?
· Helmet
· Bike
· Bag
· Books
· Pencil case with stuff in
· Lunch
· GET TO SCHOOL!!!
Okay, so, I decided to do one thing that wasn’t on the list – getting changed. ...and, eating breakfast. I suppose that means two things that aren’t on the list...
Now, time to go to the evil lair of Miss Cardy. When all my stuff was ready, I hurried to school.
Sweating from the head, a bit of blood drooling down my leg and tears of pain in my eyes, I eventually made it to school. And just in time, too.
Miss Cardy looked furious – really furious. I think she was just about to phone my mum. Then I realised what was wrong...
“Mr Hetty, you are a mess! You didn’t brush your hair, you smell very disgusting, you have blood on your uniform, your shirt isn’t tucked in and all the buttons are undone! Do you expect me to not call you mother when you are a complete disgrace?!?!” Thank god, she hadn’t noticed... “And, before I send you to the bathrooms to get ready, why are you... oh, god. Why are you wearing slippers instead of school shoes? Mr Hetty! Is this some kind of joke?!? It’s either you stay in for the rest of the year in your playtime, or I ring your mother.”
“Miss Cardy, I can’t decide now!”
“Young man, I really think that if you can’t get ready for school on time without your mother, I don’t know how you are even going to cope with a job. I’ll give you till home time to decide and answer. Now, go and get changed!”
I bet I know what you are thinking – Miss Cardy is a really mean person. Well, you thought wrong. She is REALLY, really mean. Really, really, really, really mean. A big fat royal meanie. She deserves to die in a hole. ...sorry, too much information? I’ll stop then, just for you.
I went to go and get changed, and who did I see at the change room? It was Pete, and boy did he look upset. “Hey, Pete,” I said. “What’s up?”
Pete stopped crying for a bit, looked at me, and sighed. “Miss Cardy has gotten me into so much trouble, that the principle decided to give me a suspension.” He cried more.
I looked at him weirdly. “Suspension?!? But you haven’t done anything wrong!”
“Exactly,” Pete moaned. “But because I have been sent to do so many jobs and I haven’t had a note to let me off it, they think I have been wagging school, when clearly I haven’t. So, it was either I miss all the good things happening this year, or I get a 2 week suspension.”
“Two weeks? That’s crazy!” Even I know nobody can get THAT much in trouble – unless they really were in trouble.
“Yeah, I know, that’s what I think, too,” he said, tears filled in his eyes. “But they asked me if I wanted to tell mum or they should, and I said I’ll tell her. I really don’t have the guts to tell her! What am I going to do? I can’t stay here hiding all day long! I’m meant to be home right now! Tell me what to do, Jonathan!”
I shrugged my shoulders, and sighed. “Buddy, you have to tell your mother about this. It is just way too silly not to tell her. I mean, you can be really cool – like, tell all the popular people that you have a 2 week suspension, and tell them that all you’re gonna do is hang out at the shops that whole time!” I smiled, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I mean, look at him – black dude (not trying to be racist, but you do need a great description) with a really small hair cut, black nerdy glasses, and a blue and white striped shirt, and long MC Hammer pants. Seriously – he’s probably NEVER going to be popular. Unless he changes everything about himself.
“Nah, I won’t do that. I just don’t want to be...”
“Is that you in there, Peter Hammer?” ...now you can tell why he has the MC Hammer pants. Just kidding! “You and Mr Hetty come out here at once!”
“Oh, great!” Pete murmured super quietly. He mouthed to me ‘what am I going to do?’
I mouthed back, ‘I don’t know, let’s sound like older kids’. “...who the hell is Peter Hammer and this Mr Hetty,” I announced angrily in a low, loud voice.
“Uh, yeah,” Pete deeply announced. “They sound like faggots.” I had a quiet snigger to myself. Peter was about to, but he put his finger to his lips to silence me.
“Whoever you boys are, show yourselves! Don’t make me go in there after you!”
“Oh, shit,” I declared in my low voice. It was hard trying not to laugh. “Let’s get out of here, Smell-me!”
Pete giggled quietly to himself. “Yes, let’s do, Hugh-gass!” Pete pointed to the window, and we both climbed out.
“On the count of three, I expect you boys to be out here right now!” Miss Cardy sounded so furious. I was happy that she was never going to find us. “One, two... if I say three, you boys are forcing me to come in there! ...THREE! SMELL-ME AND HUGH-GASS, COME OUT RIGHT AWAY!!!” From the other side of the wall from where we climbed, ‘Smell-me’ and I, ‘Hugh-gass’, were laughing like hell. We decided to run as fast as we could away from the toilets. We could hear Miss Cardy yelling, “Come back, Smell-me and Hugh-gass!!! ...wait a minute, smell me, and huge ass... I’VE BEEN TRICKED!!!”
...And all Pete and I could do for the rest of the lunch break was laugh our heads off.
...not literally!
